不知不觉，已经有一周年了..
去年的今天，
真的不是一言一语能表达出我的心情.
当我知道真相后，
我尊重他的决定..
眼泪开始流了下来。。。

我哭，
不是因为我生气他!
是因为我讨厌我自己!
一直以来在我身边的这位男友，原来他有着自己的苦衷，自个儿的承受下来..
而我却一点都不谅解他，一直向他述说着我的不满!
我真的是一个很失败的女朋友，所以我放手了。。。

今天，
一周年了。。
对他的爱不但没有减少，反而增加了...
原因是因为我们彼此的坦诚，
使我们更了解对方。。。
千万别问我为什么还爱着他!
因为我回答不出。。。
所为他付出的，从没想过要有回报!
只是希望能尽我的能力，来解决他的难关。。。
只要能看见他的笑容，我觉得所付出的，一切都是值得的!

每每看见他时， 我真的有股冲动想要紧紧的拥抱他..
因为，我真的很想很想去保护他那受伤的心灵!
别以为男生是很强壮的，所有的问题都能自己去面对，尤其是在他们的感情世界里。。。
我不允许任何一个人去伤害他，
决不允许!!

如果我们还能再从来一次，
我不会让他一个人去面对自己的问题，我会伴着他，牵着他的手一起去面对!
我不怕辛苦，因为能陪伴在他的身边，是我最快乐的一件事情!
会有这一 天的到来吗?
我不知道。。
不敢抱着太大的希望，因为我害怕失望的越大!
最后，
衷心的祝福他能在来临的考试做到最好! =)

this morning, wasn't feeling so well,
so, my mom stop me at APIIT..
then, when I am trying to go up the stairs,
there are three dogs wanna climb the stairs too..
(black dog, white dog and brown dog)
when they see me wanna climb the stairs,
they come and follow me... zzz
hey, is not ONE dog, is THREE dogs follow me!!
doggies, if you wanna bite me or wat, can you guys just give me a signal such as barking?
if you remain silence there, how would I know what you guys wanna do to me??
so, I try to turn another way to escape them..
they still follow me so closely!!
APIIT guard is sitting there..
I was thinking: couldn't you come and help me?
In a sudden, I step the wet soil and fall down into it..
guess what happened?
they quickly turn away to keep distance from me..
then when I stand up, they turn back and look at me, like telling me:
'you are so embrassed us!!'
zzzzz
laugh laugh laugh!!
APIIT guard is like watching a funny scene there..
fine!!
(lucky still early that time, so no one see what's happening to me..)
then quickly run up to my classroom..
the worst part is: I am wearing white skirt and white shoe!!
before cleaning myself up, I do take few pictures..


Mrs Kwan likes to bully people, everyone knows that..
I already no mood, she still wanna bully me in class.. =(
taxi driver also the same!!
I can't even feel that single of the words that come out from his mouth is actually fooling at me!

then because of meeting some people up,
made my mood feels so happy and temporary forget what happened in the morning..
even though it's just a few second..
when I enter into my classroom, many people come and asked me:
"yvonne, what happened to you? you looks so happy!"
hehehe..
one of my seniors even say this to me:
"eh, you happy that time, look pretty leh.."
LoL

then received an unexpected news!!
we changed our SAD lecturer..
well, it's a good news actually..
but when we checked our timetable..
EVERYDAY also have to go for the class leh..
haih...

go to find my mom in her office after class dismiss...
Mom want me to wait for her an hour as she wanna go and do exercise..
when she comes back, she want me to help her withdraw money from her bank..
on the way to the ATM machine, hell, two motorcyclists whistle at me!!
I was like: you two whistle again and I will yell as loud as I could!!
really damn humsup people!! >.<

If now, u are asking me: mei, don't angry with me la..
I will tell u this: gor, i really forgot what I angry with you jor..
really.. these days i am super super busy..
in the way of sleeping.. lol
ok let's be serious..
I really scared of VB class test on coming monday.. =(
but everytimes when I just open the visual studio,
I feel so dizzy and headache..
I totally cannot face to the laptop..
so, I head into my bed and sleep..
thought of rest for half and hour then continue VB back..
who know? each times of the resting time, ended up at least an hour and half.. =(

VB, really cause me very very stress..
I am so helpless..
like what Eugene said:" where's the princess von's dignity?"
and thanks to him that let me find back a little bit of confidence in my VB..
and thanks for always be my side when I feel so down and helpless.. THANKS.. =)
tell you guys, 24 hours in a day is NOT ENOUGH for von von!! =(

yesterday night, I ignored you..
sorry gor, I was so so emo that time..
as I was doing my assignments and other things are bothering me..
lucky I have two of my bestest friends who accompany me and teach me what to do..
thanks lot ya yap ning dear and phyllis darling..
just feel so hang fok when I think of two of them..
always be my sides whenever I am super down..

see, i know you are having your own stress too..
busy with your dad's work..
that's one of the reason why I don't want to tell you what happened to me recently..
and I know you need me to help you to release your stress down..
(I got read your private blog weh.. hehehe.. see I so good, no matter how busy, also care for you de loh.. xD)
i am so glad that now, you know how hard your dad worked to give you and your family such a wonderful life..
I am so admire you actually, I want this kind of life also don't have..
(sleep less few hours won't die want, just for few days only ma right? because of rushing my assignmnet, I can't even sleep for few days yet I still have to attending morning class, more cham loh.. you got see I am complaining or not? I only complain I sick jor.. hehe)
so, less complain and more appreaciate, you will find out your life is different..
and then about *ahem*, you know who I meant.. XDD
how's you two going on?
you two look so miserable..
and please don't made me blur, I am now lacking of brain cells weh...

ok la, I sure will contact with you once I have gone though this hard period..
take care ya..

I just hate you visual basic!!
making my whole day so sucks..
so headache...
yet I still gonna deal with you!

when I think of you,
I got no more appetite for my meal..
why are you so cruel?

once I sign in my MSN..
here come eugene's message..
then my reply to him, very obvious that I am so down..
really wanna cry out at that time..
wish some people can just right besides me and hug me tightly..
I am so sorry to eugence actually, really wasn't in a good mood that time..
not purposely wanna ignore you de.. sorry..
and don't worry, I promised you I will get at least a pass back..
pray hard for me ya..
and all the best in ur exam...

so dudes..
how's yours valentines day?

yesterday, my mom brought me to Jusco..
While eating at Mcd, I saw :

1. many guys gave roses to their girlfriend and hugging each other tightly..
2. best friends were talking so happily there..
3. the family members were enjoying hanging out.. (they came from China)
4. single? erm.. very very hard to meet a single people there..

I woke up at 12 noon today.. xD
yesterday, wanna do all my lab visual basic exercises.. but!
I ate my medicines at 9stg pm, at 10pm, my eyes totally cannot open!
decided to lay on the sofa awhile then be continue later.. who knows?
after ahwile, when my mom wake me up, I can't even stand properly,
so my mom chase me back to my room and sleep~~
until early the morning, my mom gave me the medicine again..
made me wake up at 12 stg... zz

then, when I checked my phone..
damn!
valentines wishes from my ex-colleague..
ZZZ
was actually thinking, what's so special on this day?!
If as couple, basically everyday is a valentines day for you guys..
we can also cherish and be with the dearest everday if we want..
I just don't understand why on this day, many guys will buy roses for their girlfriends..
buy chocolates and other things to make their girlfriends happy..
dudes, please don't tell me that you guy do all these only once in a year and it's on valentines day!!
until five something, received a msn Valentines wishes from other friends..
some even feels weird when I said I just staying at home..
what's wrong for a single girl staying at home?
ZZZ

anyway, I did happy for 'something' for awhile, then emo back!!
hrmmmptt..
always dump me in this way..
yea, I use 'DUMP'..
somemore say me always afk pulak..
fine la, suddenly feel so hungry,
I go and eat my supper now..
ciao~~

Now, is 7.26am..
Many people are still in their sweet dreams..
don't have any mood to blog anyway..
but I choose to continue writing here cause I don't know what else I can do in APIIT..

Yesterday, I had a sleepless night..
don't know is because of I slept too long for my nap or is because something else is bothering me..
I did something that out of my expectation yesterday..
and there is ONLY one people who know what I did..

To someone ( you know who you are ),
please don't feel bad for telling me straight forward..
I know you told me so is just for my own good,
and I am actually 'purposely' not 'accidentally' made up that decision..

I cried..
even now, while I am blogging in APIIT,
each of the words that I am typing now, still could not stop me from thinking of him..
Each of my firends is getting sickness to me, I know that..
Someone, if your intention is just to wake me up, well, you are successed!

Later, I will be having 4 classes of visual basic..
making my mood getting even more down..
what to do? have to thanks to Miss Debra..

Lastly, wanna write out one sentece that I used to tell my NS friends..

sound innocence, I used to think of it when I am in super down mood..
At least, better than I think in negative way right?

A very quick update..

Von von fallen sick already.. =(
and I know, for those who saw me in APIIT today, 100% won't believe this..
cause I look so well and still very hyper active tim..
I won't blame you guys cause when I told my mom that I am not feeling well, she also doesn't believe me..
(but I have proof!! )

so, after class dismiss,
my mom brought me to see doctor cause I kept complaining not feeling well non stop.. hehe
then, when the doctor see me, her first question is: why are you here?
ZZZZ
I am here of cause I sick la, if not? come here to play with you ar..
got extra time, i rather go sleep better..
then she checked whether I got fever or not..
when she takes the termometer out, she said: got fever ar! who said no fever?
I was like: damn, then u still asked me come here for what? ZZZ
She continued: If your fever still no lower down in these 4-5 days, come back again and take a blood test!!
@_______________________@
My mom was besides me..
now, she finally believe that I really not feeling well..
(my mom and the doctor quite close want actually)
then, my mom asked her whether she is going to UK soon..
she answered this friday..
then I asked her going UK as travelling or staying there..
then she said she has 3 children, 2 boys 1 girl..
2 boys working there, going there just to visit them..

I requested for more stronger medicines.. as I gotta recover faster..
(3 assignments are still waiting me leh..)
Then she gave, and asked me wanna take MC or not..
tomorrow 4 classes of visual basic, if I take MC, i sure will miss out alot of things..
So, I said no!!
she praised me- HARDWORKING leh... LoL!

ok la, so it's proof time...

Due to some people made me emo today, making my mood was in super bad mood.. So, I've decided to pour out whatever things I wanna say it out here..

真相，
对我而言是很残酷的。
但，在这现实的社会里，真相往往都会不存在。
因为有很多人会为了利益而出卖你。
而这些人，可能是我们的朋友，同学，工作伙伴或者是家里的至亲!
他们会在 ‘对’ 的时间踩你一脚。
为的是要夺得多一份的信任。。
这太可怕了!

我，是个不善于表达自己的一个人。
特别是，我真正的想法及感情!
在我不知情的情况下，我被人误会。
到最后，我还是选择默不作声。
不是因为我害怕，更不代表他们误会的就是事实!
是因为，不论我多么努力地去解释，到最后他们还是不相信，反而对我的成见更深。
就连跟自己喜欢的人说声心里话，他都不会相信。。
对他说的那句话，我决不会随随便便去跟别人说的。
可惜，他却从没想过我是提起了多大的勇气才说得出口。
最后，我选择了不把我内心的真正想法让他知道。
心痛，失望，灰心。。。

第一次被同学出卖是在我三年级那年。
知道真相的朋友都叫我把事实说出来，但我始终都没说。
只对他们说了这句话: 让时间及上天来证明一切!
直到现在，当我被误会的时候，我还是会说出这句话。
当我妈妈知道她误会我时，她会责备我不向她解释，我还是对她说出同样的一句话。
因为，我深深地相信，上帝会为我伸冤，只要他知道真相是什么就 行了。
要承受这一切的一切，真的不容易，可是我以经习惯了。
不论是朋友，同学，工作伙伴或家里的成员，
我都习惯被他们误会了。

I will just bottle up my feelings..
如果想要知道我真正的想法，就请你相信我!
否则，请不要对别人说我什么事都隐瞒这你们。
好了，终于发泄完了!

I handed up two assignments already..
wheee~~~ =)
(this is what when I think positively, but if I think negatively, what would it be?)
I still have three more assignments to go.. =(

yeah, this week is my super busy week..
well, just two assignments only, I already feel that my brain is corrupted..
this morning, when I wake up, I am so so sleepy..
these days, I slept so late because of assignmnets..
definitely I feel tired, but I could not close my eyes and have a good rest..
maybe is because I am over tired already..
once I closed my eyes, here comes into my mind:
yvonne, how about your visual basic, SAD and the MMA 2 assignment?
Immediately, I open my eyes back..
really damn! making me feel more emo..

not only have to busy with assignments, I still have to handle the CLASS TESTS!! grr...
business statistic and visual basic..
but nowadays, I got to deal with the visual basic..
because Mr.Eugene promised me if I get B and above, he will treat whatever meal I want! If I get just pass, I have to treat him back.. =/ (hehehe! so, if you are free to read my blog, this is just a reminder for you.. and want you fast fast come back to Malaysia.. xD)

I bought a chocalate from yaw kwan today..
seriously I very seldom to buy chocolate..
(wait people to give me... oh ferrero rocher, where are you? ;p)
so, when I meet yaw kwan this afternoon which I last met him during my birthday last until today..
I bought the so called valentimes chocalate.. I bought it is not because of the chocalate or the packaging , is because of yaw kwan.. If he wasn't there, seriously, I won't layan.. (so, woon ar, touch? mamak, ur treat! XD )

Then Yaw Kwan only notice I had cut my short hair.. =( I asked him my new hair style nice ma, guess what he said?
he said: I could not recognize you when I see you.. I can only recognize ur dress..
me: =.=" (let him zhadou) then I asked short nicer or long?
he: long, I will be looking slimmer, short, is fatter..
me: (ok, fine, he really made me become speechless...)
the truth is not I long hair or short, is because I really fat already!!! =(
I am going to on my diet plan back..

ok la.. enough crapping here.. It's time to log off.. take care, dudes!